How do abusers defend themselves in court

Put words to actions. Through personal conviction or guidance from their attorney, defendants in domestic violence cases use various defense mechanisms in the bar. If it is clear that these extracts from the audience need to be re-contextualized, they allow us to observe repeated “strategies”.

“It started, it was a fight”

Torn hair, strangulation mark, cuts on the body … Last February, this woman was attacked by her husband in Anse, in front of her 9-year-old. She also hit me and cut me with a knife. It was a fight,” he tries to justify the defendant in the pub. If this approach did not convince the judges – the defendant was sentenced to 8 months in prison – the controversy was repeated several times.

“She was the one who attacked me. I was surprised and punched him in the throat,” said a resident of Lausanne, who was given a 3-month suspended prison sentence.

There are also those who come up with ways to “help” or “calm”.

Like this young man who, according to him, attended the exorcism scene, last May, at Vindry-sur-Turdine: “She had a crisis when I told her we had to break up. She rubbed her face, she even wanted to stab herself. This is where Which I came in.” The outcome of the intervention: 10 days of ITT (total incapacity for work) for his companion and 15 months in prison for his brave gesture.

For his part, “I pressed her neck to calm her down.” With extra tape.

“I’ve never touched her, madam!” »

Others prefer a complete refusal. My lady is the one who makes a lot of them. In Vaulx-en-Velin, this woman took a long time to complain: Three episodes of violence. At the Lyon stadium, his companion sees a conspiracy there: “I never touched it, madam! She adds to it; plus it’s aggressive! It’s the problem, not me!”

“I didn’t hit my wife, she has her hormones and she has jealousy fits,” declares loud and clear this Desinoy, who is sentenced to one year in prison. I hit the kitchen. »

The refrigerator, the washing machine, the bathroom have, in fact, air, often, to be poorly placed.

In this other case, it’s “a job” that’s responsible for that eye coquettishness, as the knee-kick author swears, in Part-Dieu.

And if this mum from Lyon still had a tick, two weeks after she was slapped, on her son’s birthday, it’s because she “has fragile skin, which easily makes marks.”

“Hoodie, not dangerous”

In July 2017, this resident of Saint Julian’s received another slap. One is many in front of her grandchildren. “But why are you slapping her?”, tries to understand the chief judge of Villefranche. “It’s like all couples. A hoodie, it doesn’t matter, I’ve had some too.”

Four months suspended for that and to reduce.

“Two slaps and a scratch, and we get a whole story out of it,” loose, in the same style, 70-year-old Caladoys, sentenced to two years in prison. If I really wanted to hit her, she wouldn’t get up…”

“I have a demon, alcohol”

In other cases, the culprit was found: the bottle.

Alcohol, this manufacturer of black holes and/or cable cracks. “I was a heavy alcoholic. We went out with friends and really overdid it. When I saw her when I woke up, I knew I did,” Pogoli said, in 2016.

The same scenario in Tarrare, in 2018, when the husband, of a violent nature, again takes his wife in a punching bag: “I have a demon, alcohol. »

Drunkenness is an easy excuse that is frequently repeated in the arguments of the accused.

In addition to memory loss, many claim to be aware of their problem and addiction. “A psychiatrist should have followed me for years, I need him,” advances this man, who remembers “only his cries”…

“I feel ashamed”

Unlike the majority of the accused, Villorpani chose not to underestimate it: He pulled his wife’s hair well, wringing her neck, one evening in February 2016: “I am the violent husband, I find it difficult to control myself. His frankness will not save him from prison sentence, but it is a positive sign .

Calado, who noticeably isolated his car companion, wrote this in the summer of 2020, a letter to him: “The only words that come to mind are cowardice and shame. The behavior I have experienced is unbearable.” Before continuing the session:“ I want to prove to my wife Previous that I am no longer the monster I used to be.”

Victims are often torn apart

These cases illustrate the complexity of domestic violence, with victims sometimes torn between their loyalty and their desire for a better future, between the loyalty they chose to love, and the brutality of the realities they experienced.

The phrase “I still love him” or “My husband is nice” often resonates in courtrooms.

Some victims still love. Denial or control? This is the heavy task that the courts have to decide. Example: “And the bruises on the arms?”, The chief asks this resident of Dardelle, the victim of a whim in the street, about the story of a truck being transported. She replied: “I do it to me, when I am nervous.”

There are also those women who either don’t want to or don’t want to complain. “We both have our share of responsibility,” she said, her son separating her, as the blows rained. “We started off on good grounds. It is evil for good. A click allowed us to question ourselves. »

The trigger is often the desired effect for those who still believe in it.

He believes in repentance and gives another chance, or does he make mistakes and grieve over death?

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