One can judge the provocative formula, as if one became a lesbian by the spell of a magic wand, like a cooking recipe. It’s as if we were wearing a lesbian robe after dark to conquer the world. As if sexual orientation was a choice, an argument, a cliché for some homophobic. However, once you get past the back cover of How to become a lesbian in ten stepsby Louise Morell, published last June 3 by Editions Hors d’Atteinte, we realize it’s not about that.
“Many of us roamed the deserted lands of the opposite sex before joining the Lesbian Land of Plenty,” wrote the author, who now lives in Berlin. “Whatever your age, your status as a couple or family, and whatever your past, your future can be lesbian,” she adds, full of promise. In the form of a practical guide in personal development style, Louise Morell explores in ten chapters the inner path of those who realize that heterosexuality does not suit them, or no longer suits them, and who sometimes find themselves lost when it comes to exploring their desire for a woman.
“I had to find my own answers to many questions: Where do I meet women who are in love with women? How can you discreetly make sure that the woman you are talking to is not intrinsically direct? But also: How do you deal with a woman, when you are used to others making the first move? Always?, the author continues a little.
Because when you live in a society where heterosexual relationships are the norm, it’s hard to go other ways.
We weren’t born a lesbian, we became it?
Louise Morell tells us that she came up with the idea for her second book while correcting the first, HR (Editions Hors d’Atteinte), released a few months ago. She laughs: “I was telling my editor that I was relieved that I was no longer straight, and that it would be great to make a guide for women who want to see the light.” From the joke, her editor took it at her word, and Louise Morell writes quickly. “After MeToo, there was an awareness of what was at stake in intimacy, which led us to question how this happened in the basic unit of male-female relationships that is the heterosexual couple.” Especially since recent months, many other works have appeared that question the heterosexual relationship: Get out of homosexuality (Binge Audio Versions) by Juliette Droire, Reinventing love (Zones of Editions) by Mona Chollet, or even love revolution (Binge Audio Versions) by Coral Herrera Gomez.
For the author, her book was also born from the observation that the word “sexuality” was homologous to the opposite sex: “When I became a lesbian, some changes were required, so that it was not so simple.” Far from being a whim, questioning our romantic and intimate relationships seems necessary. And for some women, initiating relationships with women is a long-standing, sometimes subtle, sometimes terrifying, sometimes modern desire.
“The truth is, getting out of heterosexual relationships is sometimes complicated. The truth is that some of us have spent months questioning who they are, who they love, and what they want,” Louise Morell writes.
A practical little guide to feeling legitimate
In the form of a small practical guide, Louise Morell discusses the places where women meet, the history of lesbian struggles, first times, going out, inner homophobia, having a chosen family… They: The multiplicity of stages makes it possible to show that the path is long, and that it is never over ! This opens new horizons of wonder, more joy and freedom “explains the author.
Especially since the writer made it clear in her book that she spent 30 years being heterosexual, and that she didn’t immediately feel legitimate to call herself a lesbian. “The first time I went to rebellion [bar LGBTQ + à Paris, N.D.L.R.]In a beige coat and long hair, I wasn’t very comfortable! But it opened my eyes to the fact that I’m not the only one who had that kind of background,” she adds. In her book she addresses those who haven’t always known, who have discovered themselves late in life, and who are still attracted (sometimes, often, or a little bit) By men, those who are afraid to make a mistake.And give them a benevolent look, without judgment.
for those who complain
If we don’t have morning routine From a good lesbian or a magic formula to make a woman come, How to become a lesbian in ten steps It opens the way and reassures those who feel lonely. The book is peppered with references to other works, movies, series, and podcasts going forward. “For me, this is the role of literature! Books have played the role of reference people at certain times. Sexual orientation is also built into the collective, through cultural acts,” Louise Morell tells us.
But above all, show the joy it gives. “We talk a lot about gay and transgender violence, and it’s true, but it’s far from the only plot in our lives. This lesbian joy, hidden, denied all the time “adds the author. Louise Morell posits the exit from heterosexuality as a path of exploration, a journey from which one does not return unscathed, in which “one doubts a lot and sometimes errs.” Something that changes who we are, our relationship to being in the world. He invites us to unabashedly explore the lands of the “Land of Lesbian Plenty.”