They range in age from 39 to 50 and all three have experienced a trauma: marital rape. Facing Faustin Pollaert, these women will tackle this still taboo subject in our society on Monday 13th June on It Begins Today, at the start of the afternoon in France 2.
Nadig, Helen and Sophie lived in Hell under their roof. Their attacker was part of their daily life, their intimate relationship. They came to testify publicly on television to prevent other victims and to give them the courage to denounce these acts that were ignored by law for so long.
“Of all the rapes that undergo surgery, in nine out of ten cases were rapes within the family, that is, those close to them. Of the rapes within the family, in 47% of cases it is the husband, wife, cohabiting partner or The ex-spouse or ex-partner is alive,” identifies Mark Geiger, criminal attorney.
“I was so scared of him that I didn’t tell anyone about it.”
She met Nadig, 39, her former co-worker. She was a manager at a brewery, who was a customer. One day, he offered her a favor to fix her car. I’ve accepted. He didn’t want to get paid. And as a thank you, I gave him dinner, and then everything was tied up. He showed her his true face the first day I introduced him to her family: “It went so bad, he was so violent, he grabbed my hair, hit my head on the armrest of the chair and spat on me.” But she had already put her finger in gears: “I was caught up in this very intense relationship, by this man who gradually began to exert more and more influence on me (…). I was so afraid of him that I told no one.
“Trying to isolate you from yourself and others”
“This type of person will find exactly what will seduce you and what will come to fill something in. You should not confuse that with love, it is not love, it is the first stone of influence” emphasizes Natasha Espier, psychologist. After discovering the defect, he “begins to make you suspicious (…), tries to isolate you from yourself, from others as well”, whether from family, friends or co-workers… “And then he will slide into increasingly violent behavior (…). sexually , he might start telling you “You don’t want me tonight, that means you don’t love me”. The more you doubt yourself, the more it can create such a climate of horror that it will plunge you into it, ”the expert adds.
“I had to have oral sex with him, sometimes more than twenty a day”
Nadège’s ex-husband would use the pressure and threat of love to satisfy his impulses: “He imposed on me sexual practices that were not mine, and told me I would end up in love, or that he could go somewhere else.” Psychological violence in addition to sexual and physical violence, increasing frequent non-consensual contact: “Rape is not just penetration. I had to have oral sex, sometimes over twenty days, without warning, I cook, he pulls down his pants and he takes my head and that’s it. He takes it, he uses it” Every day, day and night, to the point of preventing him from sleeping. “Sometimes we say no, but he doesn’t hear no, and he doesn’t understand it.” Even in the eighth month of pregnancy, she was still beaten and raped. She only managed to escape after the birth of her daughter, after several attempts, and then to file a complaint. For many people, rape is the strangest thing on the street. I imagined it like this. So yeah, he offended me, he forced me, but I didn’t see it that way. After that, she was able to put into words the ordeal she went through. Get to know them, understand them, accept them and talk about them.
“Today Begins”, a program presented by Faustin Bollaert, will be held on Monday 13 June from 1:55 pm in France 2.